Ever woke up feeling so in love one day and so NOT in love the other day? Some people are just stuck with the wrong partner for no rhyme or reason. Growing up back then, i watched my mother tolerate my fathers' temperamental character. He wasn't a bad dad, It was just the influence of alcohol that suddenly brings out the beast in him. Which was very frightening sometimes. But my mother being the ol' fashioned Indian woman, she didn't do anything about it. Instead she still loved and cared for him despite his behavior. Sounds like some indian stage drama? More like reality actually. Her endurance was indeed an heart-wrenching watch. She always reminded us that "Appa has nobody accept us. So we cannot turn our backs on him." When i was younger, i didn't understand why she was doing this to herself, but as i grew older, i've realized that she has loved him underneath all his flaws. Today when i asked her, "Why didn't you divorce Appa back then?" She smiled and said "He deserved a second chance!"

Nowadays that's not the issue. Love is rather forgotten. Or maybe that's what we're thinking. If ones' partner is having an affair; DIVORCE. If the partner's abusive; DIVORCE. If you are getting sick of your partner; DIVORCE. Sad but true. That is exactly what's happening in our modern society, isn't it?

A life partner is someone who will give full moral support, boost your self-esteem and love you underneath all your cracks. -That's what i have read and seen on movies. It's not always like the movies; never is actually! Marriage is always known to be blissful but unfortunately sometimes we meet the wrong people and we try to make the best out of our imperfections, hence upsetting ourselves. It takes more than just love to make a marriage work they say. I for once think that's very true. Love alone can't win the battle, it takes commitment, affection, understanding and a forgiving nature to help win it. We are so caught up with life that we always seem to forget to stop for a breather.

Real Life Issues:

(1)

"I got married at the age of 19, it felt like that was the only way to stay with him forever. He was 21. I loved him, every single bit. And i know he loved me even more. I was better educated than him, but he was hardworking and caring. He worked very hard to provide me with the finest quality of life. We slowly built our life, we got a flat, he got me a computer, he allowed me to continue studying, he gave me his ATM and credit cards. A perfect husband. We were together for 7 years. But that didn't satisfy me, i wanted something more. Something to complete me. I got to know X from a online chat room. We became friends and i liked him. Something about him that i admired. He was more like a bad boy compared to my husband who was obedient. I stayed straying from my marriage. I didn't see it happening. I was falling in love with this complete stranger who was nothing near to happiness. All the fake happiness in that affair didn't stay a hush for long. I got pregnant with this stranger's baby. My husband found out and that's when my whole life came crumbling down to my feet. I aborted the baby and i when finally realized my mistake, it was too late. He has already walked out of my life. Forever. The pain of losing him was more unbearable than the loneliness caused. I was selfish to him. And i know i don't deserve another chance but sometimes i wish he'll return. Now we are going through a divorce, and there's no way he's going to forgive me. He mentioned during one of our trials that "i can't bare to know that another man has already touched her." Tears rolling down his eyes, i then understood how cruel i have been to him. He kept me happy everyday in our marriage and i cannot deny it, though we fought many times it only taught me a lesson...and maybe if we had a child together, i wouldn't have to watch my marriage falling apart today.."

(2)

"She was perfect. Although everyone else was against it because she clubbed and smoked, havoc would be the right word to use. But she was edgy and i liked that. I got to know her through a friend and we started talking. Before i knew it, i was already in love with her. I was so willing to stop poly and get married to her. Such an intense feeling took over me. She said she was willing to change and start a fresh with me. I dropped out of Poly and brought her home to see my parents. They were shaken at first but they eventually gave into me. We got married and we had a beautiful baby girl together. I was working and life was starting to fall into place. I felt complete. But she didn't feel complete. She didn't appreciate our marriage life. She went back to her old ways and started her bad habits. She broke my heart when she walked out on me. Just like that. Never did she realize her mistake when she walked out on our marriage, our baby girl and me. 4 years have passed, yet we still put up a play when my parents come back from Australia to visit. For that whole month, we're the perfect couple. I burn inside to know that my life is a joke. But nevertheless, i will still play along for my daughter's sake. She means the world to me now. Where is the love we shared? I don't bother looking back now. I'm moving on.."

A child's Pain:

"It hurts to think of all the things I never had. A mom to go shopping with, a carefree childhood. It hurts to think of the things that I will never have, a mom to call when I have my first baby, or someone to just talk to about problems only women could understand. It hurts more when I realize that it’s too late to get any of it back.

My dad once said to me:

“Think of your mom. Can you think of one good memory with her? You can’t, can you? That’s how you know you’re still hurting, you may think you’re not, but deep down you are. There will be a day when you can remember something good, then you’ll be able to forgive her. Then, it will stop hurting so much.”

To this day, I still can’t think of a good memory."

Stories we can share, but what about the pain caused? Decisions we make are life long. It's difficult to do it on your own sometimes and it's true "love is blind". It stops one from looking beyond. To know that you are being loved is a breath-taking feeling but to know that you're falling out of it, is a heart-wrecking feeling. The whole purpose of this is to open up our thinking and to rekindle the beautiful touch of LOVE. You may not have met Mr Right/Miss Perfect today but don't assume that the ones you meet now are forever unless you are willing to take the plunge. Take things slow. Remember, you don't have to change yourself to accommodate to your partner's needs. Be yourself, love is about being accepted for who you really are underneath the imperfection. Oh, by the way, Valentines' Day coming. Better start preparing your poems, chocolates and ROSES for the one you truly find happiness with.