i want something i can hold onto and keep myself happy. i have been living my life for others, when am i going to live it for myself? when i'm 50?
I miss aatha so much today. especially now. i miss her smell, the rainbow balm's smell on her, the powder...that special scent only she had..i miss it. i dunno why but i am missing her sooo much. i can't stop the waterfall on my face. i feel like crying till my head falls off. why is it so hard to cope with lost? i know aatha is like god now. we can't see her anymore. but we can believe in her and she'll answer our prayers.
today samutra akka msged all of us. she told us all to just pray and let aatha be happy. reading that sms broke my heart into pieces. i know she's hurting inside but she's just trying to be positive. but, how strong can one be? for how long?
hoping for a brighter day..
"I float in a pool of darkness
Cold presses in on me
I am alone
Floating aimlessly
I reach for sparks of hope
But rather than warm
They only burn.."
