2 days time i'll be 21..
this 20 years of life has been a roller coaster. there were so many good times, so much of laughter and so much of love in between. though there was hurt and pain along the way, i have learned to understand and let it all go.
when i was a kid, dad used to say i was addicted to "Poove Sempoove", they had to play the song every single night in order for me to sleep. until one night the tape just stopped working..Wahahaha...and he had to sing the song to put me to sleep..each time he mentioned that story, i won't forget the special love and sparkle in his eyes. i love him so much. and surprisingly, that song has an impact on me each time i hear it. i always tend to remember his sparkling eyes. he gave me everything i wanted. though sometimes he couldn't give me what i needed, i still love him.
"poovae semboovae un vaasam varum vaasal en vaasal un poongaavanam vaay paesidum pullaanguzhal needhaanoru poovin madal
(poovae)
nizhal poala naanum nadai poada neeyum thodarginra sondham nedungaala bandham kadal vaanam kooda niram maarak koodum manam konda paasam thadam maaridaadhu naan vaazhum vaazhvae unakkaagaththaanae naal dhoarum nenjil naan aendhum thaenaeennaalum sangeedham sandhoashamae vaay paesidum pullaanguzhal needhaanoru poovin madal
(poovae)
unaippoala naanum oru pillai dhaanaepalar vandhu konjum kilip pillai naanae unaippoala naalum malar soodum penmaividhi ennum noolil vilaiyaadum bommai naan seydha paavam ennoadu poagumnee vaazhndhu nandhaan paarththaalae poadhum ennaalum ennaalum ullaasamae vaay paesidum pullaanguzhal needhanoru poovin madal
(poovae)"
Mum, she was always the hard-headed strong one who gave me only what i needed. she worked very hard to make me the person i am today. talking about it now makes me wanna cry. she loved and cherished me in a very different yet special way. i don't know what life would have been without her, cause there was never a time she left us stranded. even when her world was crumbling, she picked us up and held us through. mum's my pillar of strength.
soon i'll be 21, i just wish to continue being happy, loved and cherished. may more great things come by..
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
gotta luv urself!!
time now is 12.22am, 12 july 2009. currently at atta's place. Atta's still not doing very well. She's still stuck in a delirium...and it still upsets me. Today we carried her up to the room. With great difficulty we brought her back to her room, and i'm secretly hoping that it will re-generate her thoughts and maybe....just maybe...she'll come back to us..the feeling is just very different now...
well tmrw is Punitha akka's nichiyam (the groom side will come and ask for the bride's hand for marriage), i'm pretty excitied about the whole thing..maybe because i've never seen such a thing before, it's not a regular norm in singapore.
time: 12.29am, sinama is listening to the radio..Atta is still sleeping, Kalsheny is talking about Esu..Sowmia is chatting away too..hahahaha..we are disturbing Atta's peace..
Lately I've been reading alot and i must say, it has been very enlightening. It has opened up my views to many narrow ideas. And reading is very encouraging and self-motivating too. I feel so much better about myself in a lot of aspects. And i must sincerely thank Honeysha for introducing it to me. In any situation, we have to believe and trust ourselves in order to succeed. only we can make ourselves happy, we should never expect someone else to make us happy...it never works. we are our best motivators..i've been trying it out and i must say, it has been working out just fine for me...u should try it too..
i'm randomly missing mahendran. hahaha..loosubai!
well tmrw is Punitha akka's nichiyam (the groom side will come and ask for the bride's hand for marriage), i'm pretty excitied about the whole thing..maybe because i've never seen such a thing before, it's not a regular norm in singapore.
time: 12.29am, sinama is listening to the radio..Atta is still sleeping, Kalsheny is talking about Esu..Sowmia is chatting away too..hahahaha..we are disturbing Atta's peace..
Lately I've been reading alot and i must say, it has been very enlightening. It has opened up my views to many narrow ideas. And reading is very encouraging and self-motivating too. I feel so much better about myself in a lot of aspects. And i must sincerely thank Honeysha for introducing it to me. In any situation, we have to believe and trust ourselves in order to succeed. only we can make ourselves happy, we should never expect someone else to make us happy...it never works. we are our best motivators..i've been trying it out and i must say, it has been working out just fine for me...u should try it too..
i'm randomly missing mahendran. hahaha..loosubai!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
haish!
the school week has officially started and i've been running around like a mad dog tryna keep it all together, in school! i had to hand in all the 22 freaking 1000words essay to a VERY ANNOYING lecturer!-i hate her, she's so fake and sickening! sigh!
and God, thank you for blessing me with assholes for group members! i couldn't thank you any lesser! Sometimes i wonder why some people even bother coming to school. They are given such a priority in the poly yet they fail to make full use of the knowledge! FREE LOADERS! they practically wait for someone to do everything for them. It's people like them who make me hate going to school. But yeah, WHATEVER! I'm here to learn and if you are not here for the same reason, please don't waste other peoples time!
I have a theory test tmrw and it's so last minute. the teacher in charge of that particular module is so unreliable! She doesn't know whats going on i suppose. And its a waste that the goverment is paying her cos all she ever wants us to do is GO AND WATCH CBT!
A teacher-a person who teaches or instructs, esp. as a profession; instructor. So please do your work promptly! Its your rice-bowl!
Students will always be students!-
any person who studies, investigates, or examines thoughtfully: a student of human nature.
even though students suck blood, its still the job of an educator to teach!!
i'm sick of self-directed learning!!
tmrw is gonna be a brighter day, i hope!
and God, thank you for blessing me with assholes for group members! i couldn't thank you any lesser! Sometimes i wonder why some people even bother coming to school. They are given such a priority in the poly yet they fail to make full use of the knowledge! FREE LOADERS! they practically wait for someone to do everything for them. It's people like them who make me hate going to school. But yeah, WHATEVER! I'm here to learn and if you are not here for the same reason, please don't waste other peoples time!
I have a theory test tmrw and it's so last minute. the teacher in charge of that particular module is so unreliable! She doesn't know whats going on i suppose. And its a waste that the goverment is paying her cos all she ever wants us to do is GO AND WATCH CBT!
A teacher-a person who teaches or instructs, esp. as a profession; instructor. So please do your work promptly! Its your rice-bowl!
Students will always be students!-
any person who studies, investigates, or examines thoughtfully: a student of human nature.
even though students suck blood, its still the job of an educator to teach!!
i'm sick of self-directed learning!!
tmrw is gonna be a brighter day, i hope!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
H1N1?
OMG!
Just after the class gathering, i was down with FLU, FEVER, BODYACHES! the three atypical signs of h1n1..i was so sick last saturday that my mum had to drag me to see a doctor. my poor old lady..she loves me so much yet she refuses to show it very often. (ps.i love her 2) So we went to the GP at 12.30pm, the Doc refused to see me. He only checked my temperature (38.7 degrees) and called for the ambulance (993) to come fetch me to tan tock seng hospital. He refused to treat me. So yeah, there i was hanging onto dear life..(ok! i sound so melo-dramatic!) i waited for the idiotic civic ambulance to come. they only arrived @ 3.35pm and by then i was giddy and nausea..i sat in the awful smelling ambulance and nearly died cos the dumbass driver was rounding Ang mo Kio for 20 mins, just to reach another avenue to pick up another suspected case..by then i've already pucked and i was looking like a piece of waste material! And the old chinese lady who came into thge ambulance thought i died. she refused to look at me. i guess she thought i was the H1n1 virus itself! She was already wearing a mask yet she covered her nose and mouth region with both her hands! bloody swine!! babi-eating swine! grrr....
i was too weak and sooooooo wasted to purposely cough on her face...so i let her pass..
@ Tan Tock Seng Tentage, time 5.00pm. i was seen by a messy lady doctor. she was quick. she only saw me for 10mins. she I/V cannulated me and took some blood for investigation. gave me some painkiller and zoooooommm she went away....temperature was (39.3 degrees). i slept..on a very uncomfortable trolley. they left me on drips and she only saw me again @ 9.15pm. i only remember her telling me that i was free from H1N1 and i needed to rest alot...what happened after that was history!
singapore's medical treatment receival timing is sooooo lacking. everythng happens in a delay. we are so ready for a outbreak yet we fail to see the smaller issues!...thats something we've gotta improve in our medical response field.
oh yeah, i got well..after alot of crap and pep talks. hahahaha. i love my friends. they are sooo random. just like me...so god pls don't make me sick again like for the next thousand years. if i live that long..........
Just after the class gathering, i was down with FLU, FEVER, BODYACHES! the three atypical signs of h1n1..i was so sick last saturday that my mum had to drag me to see a doctor. my poor old lady..she loves me so much yet she refuses to show it very often. (ps.i love her 2) So we went to the GP at 12.30pm, the Doc refused to see me. He only checked my temperature (38.7 degrees) and called for the ambulance (993) to come fetch me to tan tock seng hospital. He refused to treat me. So yeah, there i was hanging onto dear life..(ok! i sound so melo-dramatic!) i waited for the idiotic civic ambulance to come. they only arrived @ 3.35pm and by then i was giddy and nausea..i sat in the awful smelling ambulance and nearly died cos the dumbass driver was rounding Ang mo Kio for 20 mins, just to reach another avenue to pick up another suspected case..by then i've already pucked and i was looking like a piece of waste material! And the old chinese lady who came into thge ambulance thought i died. she refused to look at me. i guess she thought i was the H1n1 virus itself! She was already wearing a mask yet she covered her nose and mouth region with both her hands! bloody swine!! babi-eating swine! grrr....
i was too weak and sooooooo wasted to purposely cough on her face...so i let her pass..
@ Tan Tock Seng Tentage, time 5.00pm. i was seen by a messy lady doctor. she was quick. she only saw me for 10mins. she I/V cannulated me and took some blood for investigation. gave me some painkiller and zoooooommm she went away....temperature was (39.3 degrees). i slept..on a very uncomfortable trolley. they left me on drips and she only saw me again @ 9.15pm. i only remember her telling me that i was free from H1N1 and i needed to rest alot...what happened after that was history!
singapore's medical treatment receival timing is sooooo lacking. everythng happens in a delay. we are so ready for a outbreak yet we fail to see the smaller issues!...thats something we've gotta improve in our medical response field.
oh yeah, i got well..after alot of crap and pep talks. hahahaha. i love my friends. they are sooo random. just like me...so god pls don't make me sick again like for the next thousand years. if i live that long..........
Kanmani......
"உண்டான காயம் இங்கு தன்னாலே ஆறிப்போனமாயமென்ன பொன் மானே பொன் மானேஎன்ன காயம் ஆன போதும், என் மேனி தாங்கிக் கொள்ளும்உந்தன் மேனி தாங்காது செந்தேனே.....
எந்தன் காதல் என்னெவென்றுசொல்லாமல் ஏங்க ஏங்க அழுகை வந்ததுஎந்தன் சோகம் உன்னைத் தாக்கும்எண்றெண்ணும் போது வந்த அழுகை நின்றதுமனிதர் உணர்ந்து கொள்ள இது மனிதக்காதல் அல்லஅதையும் தாண்டி புனிதமானது...."
Oh where, Oh where...
Has this beautiful thing called LOVE gone??
i'm so randooooooommmmmmmmmm!
i'm currently watching VIJAY TV's super singer, and i've got no words to express how awesome they are! And they sound so pleasant, some talents we don't usually see in our local scene.. seriously! The judges are so warm and the indians from india are so talented. I remember some time back there was a social riot on "Why the indians from india are smarter than our local indians...", well, for one they are way more "thick-skin" than us. They NEVER EVER let any opportunity to pass by. Even in our local schools, the India Indians are the ones scoring A's in subjects like maths and science. they really seem to appreciate our cruel education system here! Like HELLO! please get a life!! why are you all making us look bad? hahaha...
It's not like we're not trying..we just need to finish the game on our PSBs and XBOX. so yeah..wahahahaha..we singaporeans are so lame and lazy! please slap our parents for supporting this "ang-moh-nized" culture! Well, my parents didn't give me such things. And i learned the hard way so yeah...WHATEVER!
hahahaha...so mahendran, i hope you are reading my random posts. since you were so upset with the fact that i didn't update my blog! I shall promise to update regularly ok..since i'm so freeeeeee....and hey, all the best for your case study ok! My dearest scientist/doctor/nutritionist/techinician/driving instructor/security guard!! best in singapore, sinagpore and some say, singapore...!!!
i'm currently watching VIJAY TV's super singer, and i've got no words to express how awesome they are! And they sound so pleasant, some talents we don't usually see in our local scene.. seriously! The judges are so warm and the indians from india are so talented. I remember some time back there was a social riot on "Why the indians from india are smarter than our local indians...", well, for one they are way more "thick-skin" than us. They NEVER EVER let any opportunity to pass by. Even in our local schools, the India Indians are the ones scoring A's in subjects like maths and science. they really seem to appreciate our cruel education system here! Like HELLO! please get a life!! why are you all making us look bad? hahaha...
It's not like we're not trying..we just need to finish the game on our PSBs and XBOX. so yeah..wahahahaha..we singaporeans are so lame and lazy! please slap our parents for supporting this "ang-moh-nized" culture! Well, my parents didn't give me such things. And i learned the hard way so yeah...WHATEVER!
hahahaha...so mahendran, i hope you are reading my random posts. since you were so upset with the fact that i didn't update my blog! I shall promise to update regularly ok..since i'm so freeeeeee....and hey, all the best for your case study ok! My dearest scientist/doctor/nutritionist/techinician/driving instructor/security guard!! best in singapore, sinagpore and some say, singapore...!!!
1 minute to FAME!
well, yes...i FINALLY tried out for the VSTAR auditions today. AND it sucked pretty bad. i WAS pretty upset that my journey ended even before i could start. Hahahahahahaha...apparently i wasn't dressed LIKE A STAR. the judges didn't let the appearance part slip by. they harped on it for awhile before they heard me sing. And singing on a mic was terrible. but hey, i took it all in with a BIG SMILE.
i feel contented today. even though i didn't make it into the competition, i still feel like a winner. and i guess i've finally found the reason to why i wanted to join in the first place! "i wanted to meet new people, i wanted to make new friends!"-i secretly envied shankara because HE made some nice friends! But hey, i too met some nice people. some people whom names i can't remember right now. all of them were nice and warm. putting myself out there today wasn't an easy thing but i seemed to act out my part pretty well. come on, tell me! who wants to be left on a HOT SPOT-where people are judging your appearance, personality, first impressions and etc....? NO ONE! no one wants to feel so small and helpless...
i've come to realise that people aren't what they seem to be. Well, did you know that Mr Chandramohan (a judge from VSTAR!) was actually a part-time Taxi driver. I once boarded his taxi with my family and you know what...He was really a very nice person inside out. He was so friendly and cheerful that we were all talking till we arrived at our destination. But today, he wasn't that same person...instead, he was snobbish, rude, hurtful and mocking..i didn't remember him like i used too. well, its ok to be honest..i don't mind taking critisms but i didn't appreciate the way he had to put his statements across. it was like as if he was trying to be someone else...My question is WHY? Why let the media change your aura? why be something else??....
i'm not going to change myself...but i will repent and learn from the experience i've gained today..it has given something to think about...tc. till next time..
i feel contented today. even though i didn't make it into the competition, i still feel like a winner. and i guess i've finally found the reason to why i wanted to join in the first place! "i wanted to meet new people, i wanted to make new friends!"-i secretly envied shankara because HE made some nice friends! But hey, i too met some nice people. some people whom names i can't remember right now. all of them were nice and warm. putting myself out there today wasn't an easy thing but i seemed to act out my part pretty well. come on, tell me! who wants to be left on a HOT SPOT-where people are judging your appearance, personality, first impressions and etc....? NO ONE! no one wants to feel so small and helpless...
i've come to realise that people aren't what they seem to be. Well, did you know that Mr Chandramohan (a judge from VSTAR!) was actually a part-time Taxi driver. I once boarded his taxi with my family and you know what...He was really a very nice person inside out. He was so friendly and cheerful that we were all talking till we arrived at our destination. But today, he wasn't that same person...instead, he was snobbish, rude, hurtful and mocking..i didn't remember him like i used too. well, its ok to be honest..i don't mind taking critisms but i didn't appreciate the way he had to put his statements across. it was like as if he was trying to be someone else...My question is WHY? Why let the media change your aura? why be something else??....
i'm not going to change myself...but i will repent and learn from the experience i've gained today..it has given something to think about...tc. till next time..
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