Friday, March 2, 2012

Where are you?

This would be the sweetest thing I would wanna tell the man who truly makes me understand that love still exist.

The wedding vow:

Because of you my world in now whole.
Because of you, love lives inside my soul.
Because of you I have laughter in my eyes.
Because of you, I'm not longer afraid of goodbyes.
You are my pillar, my stone of strength. 
With me through all seasons and great times of length.
My love for you is pure, boundless through space and time. Stronger with every day with the knowledge that you'll always be mine.
At the alter I will joyously say "I do", for I have it all now, and it's all because of you.



Ps: shoot me! For I'm an hopeless romantic.

Look at me.

Who is that girl I see? Staring straight back at me. When will my reflection show, who I am inside? I'm at a point of no return, so afraid of getting burned, but I wanna take a chance. Please give me a reason to believe, that everything in this world happens for a concrete reason. Why does it hurt? Who made love this painful? Who made attachments and relationships this hurtful? Who made trust so fragile? I have so many questions running through my mind, but I can't seem to find my reasons. I can't seem to understand why happiness is so distant. When will I see the light at the end of the tunnel? When will I be accepted in this dishonest society? When will I become one of them?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happiness

Happiness, big word with very small concepts. Happiness is when a baby gives u his biggest toothless grin. Happiness is when u close ur eyes and sing with no anxiety or fear of being judged. Happiness is when you lie on a field watching the beautiful clear blue sky with seriously no thoughts running through ur mind. Happiness is when you can enjoy the sights and sounds of nature with no stressful events running through your mind. Happiness is when god finally enters your heart and purifies ur body and soul. Happiness, big word, small concepts.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Time flies.

Been ages since I last blogged. Well where can I start? Or what can I say? Should I start with how smoking and drinking were my best friends months ago? I turned ugly. I lost myself and sold my soul to the devil. I couldn't even recognize myself. My soul was dirty and filled to the brim with poison. Every single day I was poisoning my body with cigarettes. What was I thinking? using foul words like it was part of my life. I was starting to live other people's rotten lives and I was carrying all their problems on my shoulders.

Today I stand, far away from all those chemicals and further away from all those who brought me there. And I'm proud to say that I have found myself, not the same old me but someone who used to be me. Anyway, who am I? I'm always the one running to carry other people's burdens on my heavy shoulders. Today I don't feel like helping anyone. I don't find a need to over work myself to earn extra to keep everyone around me happy. I guess I have finally learnt that helping everyone doesn't necessarily makes me happy. I'm learning to help myself. And that's progress.

As for my dad. I have finally learned to let go. Memories are bitterly beautiful.