Happiness

Happiness, big word with very small concepts. Happiness is when a baby gives u his biggest toothless grin. Happiness is when u close ur eyes and sing with no anxiety or fear of being judged. Happiness is when you lie on a field watching the beautiful clear blue sky with seriously no thoughts running through ur mind. Happiness is when you can enjoy the sights and sounds of nature with no stressful events running through your mind. Happiness is when god finally enters your heart and purifies ur body and soul. Happiness, big word, small concepts.

Time flies.

Been ages since I last blogged. Well where can I start? Or what can I say? Should I start with how smoking and drinking were my best friends months ago? I turned ugly. I lost myself and sold my soul to the devil. I couldn't even recognize myself. My soul was dirty and filled to the brim with poison. Every single day I was poisoning my body with cigarettes. What was I thinking? using foul words like it was part of my life. I was starting to live other people's rotten lives and I was carrying all their problems on my shoulders.

Today I stand, far away from all those chemicals and further away from all those who brought me there. And I'm proud to say that I have found myself, not the same old me but someone who used to be me. Anyway, who am I? I'm always the one running to carry other people's burdens on my heavy shoulders. Today I don't feel like helping anyone. I don't find a need to over work myself to earn extra to keep everyone around me happy. I guess I have finally learnt that helping everyone doesn't necessarily makes me happy. I'm learning to help myself. And that's progress.

As for my dad. I have finally learned to let go. Memories are bitterly beautiful.