Grenade by Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live
Oh, take, take, take it all but you never give
Should've known you was trouble from the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open, why were they open?

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no

Black, black, black and blue, beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said, hey, when you get back to where you're from
Mad women, bad women, that's just what you are, yeah
You'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
'Cause what you don't understand is

I'd catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me, you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby

But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I'd jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same

No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you never do the same
No, no, no, no

Just leave me alone.

Lately I can't stop thinking about appa and how negative I have been feeling. I have lost all my positivity. I can't tell anyone due to fear of mockery. I just can't take this. I feel very stressed and upset and lonely and sad and worried and nervous and so many other things. I just can't think straight anymore. I just really wanna be alone. Nobody knows me or understands anything, yet they all have so much to say.
Every thing seems so difficult, someone is constantly making me feel lousy. As much as I try to feel better, I lose myself in the middle and I'm scared of what I'm becoming. help me catch myself.

pictures i took.

random shots of things, colours, people and happiness.

she came back.

U know, every since i got back with pugeynes, i have been doing random things. like playing music at her place and both of us dancing like clowns. hahaha, all the stupid things we used to do when we were in secondary school. we would randomly play some song and start dancing together. suddenly singing so loudly. cooking together, eating and joking about others. gossiping about others and then laughing. painting nails and playing make-up make-up. sharing sad stories and crying our hearts out. talking about how we would wanna be their for each other when she remarry, or when i get married, or when i have kids. talking about guys, love, dating and sex. just being kids all over again. it feels..different. to do this all over again. it feels..nice. something that i can't do with complex priya,  nurul or anyone else. something silly, only pugeynes and i can do together w/o feeling a tinch of regret. somehow, i hope this never ends. see how god plays with our lifes, just to remind us how important the other person is, he takes them away. once we have realised the importance and we have met too many users, he returns them back to us. Its up to us whether if we wanna make amendments or walk away. i'm glad i had the courage to make amendments. :)

I found myself.

well, the best part of today was the fact that i left my bike practical halfway! yes, you heard me right! i left halfway!! and the first person i called was pugeynes. i felt incompetent, lousy, hopeless and useless! can u imagine how much of negativity i was harbouring?! during the practical, all i was thinking about was my surrounding, the people around me (other riders looking at me), what that worthless ragu said (he said i was too heavy to ride a bike and i really had to lose some weight!), and the not-so-motivating instructor (who was talking too loudly to make me feel humiliated!). i TOTALLY forgot to think about myself and my dream! i was stuck living their nightmare. what had happened to me? Where's the courageous girl who resided inside of me? Has she left the building? She is so strong that she hides the fear and moves forward, no matter how tough the going gets! where is she? I called mahendran next and told him what happened. he didn't say a word of discouragement, instead he told that it was just a bad day and i had to focus on what i want and how to achieve it. Everything Pugeynes and Mahen said didn't strike a cord while i was interacting with them. I was stuck in a daze, sitting at the bus stop, looking at each and every passing bike. But now i am feeling so much better. I met Pugeynes and we slacked at her place till the wee hours. Finally when I was leaving (by the way, she and I live one block away from each other!), we sat under the block and I told her exactly what happened. I was amazed with myself, i told her the parts of bike, how to start and move off, where my mistakes were, what i was doing and how it all happened. As i spoke about it, i felt better, she made me feel better, the same way she used to make me feel during our secondary school days. It was like i was reliving my seconday school moments with her, she always being my pillar of strength. Standing up for me if ceremony arises! She taught me how to fight for myself and how to love myself before others. I kind of forgot that feeling. I have forgotten me, myself and i in the process of growing up. Although life has changed dramatically for both of us, we were still the same old kids but forced to live like adults! So many things are running through my mind right now! (time check: 0422hrs 27/11/10) I am finally feeling ambitious, for the right reasons now. After a long time of misjudgement and wrong paths, I have finally found myself. I now need to bring myself home, a place I have been missing all this while.

Director's list.

Why can't I get onto that list? If I aim to get all A in my upcoming exam, I can definitely get on it. I can't waste my time doing useless things. I need to prove it to myself. I actually feel quite useless now. I am a smart girl, but why am I wasting my time? I need to be constantly motivated. I should go home, revise and rest early. I'm going to do this! I can definitely do this! So I can get back on track. WTF have been doing in my life?! I feel stupid with my acts. And I'm not going to sit here and watch others receive the award when actually I'm capable of that too. I have enjoyed too much. Now main goal is Ace papers,& get license!

9/11/1949

I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

-my immortal by evanescence.

Happy 61st bday daddy. Tmwr is suppose to be ur bday but look where you are now. I miss you daddy. I just miss you so much. I love you so much daddy. My heart is so heavy. I don't know what I will do tmwr. Where are you appa? Please come back home..

where's me?

where's me in us? i love you mum so much. i love u more than i love myself yet you always hurt me. i guess you r forgetting that i only have you left. i rmbr everything you have done for me, but pls..im growing up now. im a big girl now. i can handle this myself now. pls let me breath.

oi MAHEN!

enna la ithu? all the while i thought this bala thing was a totally ulluthas! hahaha. that poor boy. and poor me. haha..i am not marrying him, pls get that in ur thick skull. hahahahahahaha. anyway, thanks mahen, for randomly trying to get me hitched. thats really sweet. buttttttt....

Hello Tuesday

I'm so tired actually! Having lectures right after lunch is definitely a bad idea. The aircon is just contributing to the sleepy factor. The day so far has been a drag!! Right now I'm blogging, dearest fiezah is eating seaweed, Sindhu is talking crap and the rest are going crazy. The teacher is super boring. School ends at 5 today, going to pay respect to my classmate's grandmother whom has passed on. I intend to buy some flowers. After that I have to meet vani akka to collect a textbook for school.. Hmmm.. Nothing exciting. Just another day in this life.

hey YOU!

hey you, yes you. i'm talking to you! that tall indian guy! you annoying orange! all the best for your exams ok. you can do it. nothing in this world is tougher than our spirit! so be positive yaar. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. so u better pass you clown! achar? anyway, if i ever hear you talk abt the 7/11 job, i swear i will bite ur left ear off! naayee, study so hard to work in 7/11 isit? all the best ok. rmrb, POSITIVE!!!

dear daddy.

god, why do u give pain together with happiness? wads real and wads not?

i know its a love song but the words are beautiful.

"Kalainthalum megham athu meendhum medhakum
Adhu pola thaaney undhan kadhal ennakum
Nadai padhai vilaka kadhal viluntha uddan nadaipathuku
Nerupalum mudiyath amma nineivugalai allipathuku
Unnakaga kathirrupen oh
Uyirodu paarthirrupen oh "

-miss u daddy so much. with each passing cloud i wonder when we'll meet again. i doubt you'll rmbr me. but i always will daddy. i will always rmbr you. with all my heart and soul. i wanna do thrilling things daddy. something that will make my heart race so quickly. something that will bring thrilling moments, like defying gravity. i have been smoking. not the most proudest thing in my life. -i still rmbr how you say that smoking helps you think. haha. were you seriously kidding? or did you mean it? i miss you daddy, so much. i miss calling you appa. i suddenly feel that the word appa is distant.it hurtss daddy that i cant see you or talk to you anymore. life is not the same anymore. blogging about you burns a hole in my heart. i cant express this feeling to anyone daddy. only you know me best in this whole world. i guess in a way you have cheated me too, just like how pugeynes's daddy cheated her. are yall still friends up there? do send my regards to uncle. and pls tell god that your daughter doesn't want you to be born again. its a torture down here on earth daddy. you dont need this anymore. daddy, i have enrolled myself for class 2b bike license. i'm so thrilled by it. i cant wait to start attending lessons. i'm gonna do this for myself now daddy. i know i can do it. i wanted it so bad for so long. i am looking forward to the day when i'm riding on the road in the cool breeze, at night, just me and myself feeling at ease. finally im doing it. dont worry daddy, i will be safe.as long as you are looking after me. and dont worry daddy, i will still take the car license no matter wad happens. i know you'll say "do whatever you think is right, just rmbr to take the car license too" hahaha. i miss your sense of humor daddy. my dearest old man. i hope you'll get this letter. (at least i can live on with the faith that you did)

:) stay positive. best is yet to be.

insemination.

Artificial insemination , or AI, is the process by which sperm is placed into the reproductive tract of a female for the purpose of impregnating the female by using means other than sexual intercourse. In humans, it is used as assisted reproductive technology, using either sperm from the woman's male partner or sperm from a sperm donor (donor sperm) in cases where the male partner produces no sperm or the woman has no male partner.

Specifically, freshly ejaculated sperm, or sperm which has been frozen and thawed, is placed in the cervix (intracervical insemination – ICI) or, after washing, into the female's uterus (intrauterine insemination – IUI) by artificial means.

In humans, artificial insemination was originally developed as a means of helping couples to conceive where there were 'male factor' problems of a physical or psychological nature affecting the male partner which prevented or impeded conception. Today, the process is also and more commonly used in the case of choice mothers, where a woman has no male partner and the sperm is provided by or on behalf of a sperm donor.

if i dont meet anyone worthy, i would love to be a choice mother. cos i want a child. my own child.

where u?

i have not spoken to mahen in 24hours.

mahendran, where are u? havent you realize by now that my days are incomplete w/o u?! without ur yelling, irritation and ignorance, i feel empty! something  is definitely not going well on ur side. i hope it'll get better soon. cos i miss u yaar, the only annoying orange i will ever miss is u!

clown!

Papa dearest :)

Not a day goes by without me missing you dearest appa. How I'm still wishing that all this was a very horrible and bad nightmare. I took you for granted. Everything you said and did for me all remains in my memory vividly. I have put you down one too many times but you have always brushed it aside. You know appa, there were so many things that I wanted to do for you. But just before I can do it, you decided to pull the plug. I wanted to take driving pa, I wanted to rent a car and drive you around the whole week after I pass my tp. I know that would have made you happy. You wanted to dine in at jack's place days before your admission at tan tock seng, I had the money, and I rmbr telling you "let's go appa", you ever so nicely said "it's ok ma, keep the money, don't waste it." why appa? Why did you act like everything was ok when really nothing was ok? When you were critically ill at nuh, you always smiled to hide your misery, you gave me hope to believe, while you struggled to fight the battle. On my birthday this year, I visited you. Your eyes were wide open, you were excersizing your hands. You looked so cute. I asked you whether you rmbrd wad day it was, you nodded your head. I told u I was 22, u looked at me amazed. You then touched my face and u started crying, you hugged me. I cried and cried. That day was a torture appa. It was so painful. I miss u appa. Who's gonna hear me out now? Hmmm..

Henna treatment/Randomness

So work with Aunty Ji ended at 2, came tekka for mum's denture try-on session. Well, she was late so I decided to do henna treatment for my hair. Quite excited. Hahaha. I'm being very positive that my hair will look awesome and beautiful soon :) and I'm so excited with my upcoming dentures. Haha. Yes, I paying for her. Anything for her. I hope that with the dentures her swallowing will improve. Did I mention tht mum has been choking on practically everything she eats? Scary shit! (Ps: right now my hair is under the steamer and the heat is steaming my brain! Haha.) anyway, back to mum, I brought her to consult the dr and with god's grace her throat is fine. No cancer or tumor. But must bring her for another check up soon, that's to check her swallowing strength. Hope everything will go on fine. I love mum. Alot. And I know u know that very well mahen :)

Interesting.

Why should the wedding ring be worn on the fourth finger?
There is a beautiful and convincing explanation given by the Chinese.....
 
Thumb represents your Parents
Second (Index) finger represents your Siblings
Middle finger represents your-Self
Fourth (Ring) finger represents your Life Partner
& the Last (Little) finger represents your children
 
Firstly, open your palms (face to face), bend the middle fingers and hold
them together - back to back
Secondly, open and hold the remaining three fingers and the thumb - tip to tip

Now, try to separate your thumbs (representing the parents)...., they will
open, because your parents are not destined to live with you lifelong, and
have to leave you sooner or later.

Please join your thumbs as before and separate your Index fingers
(representing siblings)... ., they will also open, because your brothers and
sisters will have their own families and will have to lead their own
separate lives.

Now join the Index fingers and separate your Little fingers (representing
your children)... .., they will open too, because the children also will get
married and settle down on their own some day.

Finally, join your Little fingers, and try to separate your Ring fingers
(representing your spouse).
You will be surprised to see that you just CANNOT......, because Husband &
Wife have to remain together all their lives - through thick and thin!!
 
Please try this out......... ....


ISN'T THIS A GOOD THEORY?

From Paiya. Currently hooked on this.

En kadhal solla aasai illai, a trademark-Yuvan track with his own vocals that has now become a genre by itself! I bet if you are a Yuvan fan, you will start loving this song the moment you listen to it for the first time. Na Muthukumar has done a great job with the lyrics part. I am quite sure guys are gonna get mad after listening to this song. If there is one word that best describes this song, its Jim-dandy. :)

Song: En kadhal solla
Movie Name : Paiyaa
Music : Yuvan Shankar Raja
Lyrics : Na Muthukumar
Singer : Yuvan Shankar Raja



En kadhal solla neram illai
un kadhal solla thevai illai
nam kadhal solla vaarthai illai
unmai maraithaalum maraiyaadhadi

Un kaiyil sera engavillai
un tholil saaya aasaiyillai
nee pona pimbu sogam illai
endru poi solla theriyadhadi

Un azhagale un azhagale
en veyil kaalam adhu mazhai kaalam
un kanavale un kanavale
manam alaipaayum mella kudai saayum

En kadhal solla neram illai
un kadhal solla thevai illai
nam kadhal solla vaarthai illai
unmai maraithaalum maraiyaadhadi

Kaatrodu kai veesi nee pesinaal
endhan nenjodu puyal veesudhe
vayadhodum manadhodum sollamale
sila ennangal valai veesudhe
kadhal vandhale kannodu dhan
kallathanam vandhu kudi yerumo
konjam nadithenadi konjam thudithenadi
indha vilayaattai rasithenadi

Un vizhiyaale un vizhiyaale
en vazhi maarum kan thadumaarum
adi idhu yedho oru pudhu yekkam
idhu valithalum nenjam adhai yerkum

Oru vaarthai pesamal enai paaradi
undhan nimidangal neelatume
veredhum ninaikaamal vizhi moodadi
endhan nerukangal thodaratume
yaarum paakkamal enai paarkiren
ennai ariyamal unai paarkiren
siru pilaiyena endhan imaigal adhu
unai kandaale gudhikindradhe

En adhigaalai en adhigaalai
un mugam paarthu dhinam yezha vendum
en andhi malai en andhi malai
un madi saiyndhu dhinam vizha vendum

En kadhal solla neram illai
un kadhal solla thevayilai
nam kadhal solla vaarthai illai
unmai maraithaalum maraiyadhadi

Un kaiyil sera yengavillai
un tholil saaya aasaiyillai
nee pona pimbu sogam illai
endru poi solla theriyadhadi

The rich and the poor.

Ever wondered why the rich always remain rich and the poor always poor? Sometimes I wonder how do the rich remain rich and why does the poor maintain slave-hood. When I do private cases, I'm simply blown away with the life the rich people live. Wow! Seriously! Wow! All I can do is admire the beauty of their houses and their posh lives! Have u been to great world city's service apartments? Simply mind blowing. And not forgetting the arrogance that comes along with the client who resides there. She treats her maid like a dirt rag and she is super fussy! She often forgets that the maid is still a person who is being under paid due to her qualifications! When I look at this behavior that being displayed,I thank my lucky stars for an educational background. Did u know that nurses are actually highly paid maids? Well yes, sadly we are. Often we are expected to clean up the mess left by the weak. Ps: I'm thinking about the billionaire song. (I wanna be a billionaire, so friggin bad. Buy all of the things I never had..) haha. Oh well, she's paying me an handful, so I'm supposed to shut up and listen to her whine like a rich old bitch!

Ps: Mahen, I still have not figured how to put in a shoutout box for u and only u to comment. Haha. I shall figure it out soon. In the meantime, pls don't miss ms E too much ok :)

omg.

Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned woman appeared in the window of a gym.




It said: "THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?"



A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.



To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins, stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.



Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them, not to mention how could they even have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Lastly,who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?



The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

dearest Mahendran :)

thank you for being the only soul in the world to read my blog. hahahaha. its like you have access to my heart and its emotions and feelings. hey, you must feel honoured. hahahaha. out of all people i have met. you are seriously, different. MAD actually. you force me to blog about my life so you can read it! enna la ithu? and you even make me give a deadline for blogging! but thank you, like you mentioned, it has made me feel better. it may not solve my problems, but i feel less burdened. i am often able to express myself better with words rather than talking. talking just screws things up la. big time. better not to talk to anyone about feelings. today is my last day of attachments at KKH. next week is my exams. I am really not stressed about it, i should be. I have not studied. wahahahaha..but i have the weekends to sit down and get to it. All i have to do is understand what I am studying and I am good :) monday 9am is my first paper (ADULT NURSING). Got 4 papers in total. I hope I  am doing a good job la mahen, I just hope I will do well for this diploma and make my daddy proud. He deserves it.

Hey mahen, thank you ok. For...everything. Love you.

i am me, and this is my story.

Where do i start? So many things have happened seen I last blogged. 2010 has taken away many things I have held so dear to my heart. One by one it took away people whom I have held so close, FRIENDS. "Friends" they call it. Who are these people? Why do they seem so important to us? Are they really an essential part of our lifes? "Friends" whom we think will last forever actually really don't even make pass an obstacle. Sadly. Yes, my 6 years of friendship came to an interesting fullstop when an unexpected twist occured. Its rather funny if you see the full picture. The society in general can say a million things but end of the day, its how you perceive it to be that really matters.

IMPORTANT: one thing is for sure, no matter how old you are, you are never too old to be childish! (if you know what i mean!)

So they were leaving, some of them. (note: "they" means the FRIENDS who left) They were busy packing their bags and finding a way out from this dungeon (my life). Their bags sure appeared heavy with all the love and trust I have instilled in them. Looks like they have benefitted with the time they have spent with me. They were definitely not leaving empty handed, they were taking away my positivity together with them. BRATS. They decided to take my box of happiness too. Sometimes being greedy doesn't help.

I found a bigger box full of happiness, FAMILY. :)

So with the sudden emptiness in my life came a gush of importance. My parents :) the past 2 months were really precious. I spent every little moment I had with my bestest friend in the whole world. The person who would give to world to know that I am happy. This special person has been the proudest of me ever since I was born. Unlike many who have left me for their own selfish reasons, this kind self-less soul has lived to watch me grow. But time has come for him to leave this nasty place called earth to be with god where his heart will beat so strong, his kidneys will work like machines and his legs will carry him effortlessly. This wonderful person is..my dad. The man who taught me that love is the most simplest form of happiness and its something thats worth sharing. (ps: even the slightest thought of him brings tears to my eyes) I miss him.

All he ever wanted was to live long enough to watch me graduate and become a staff nurse. I'm really disheartened. No words can express how much I have yearned for him to live. Every day since the 12th of June 2010 till the day he left us, was special. I never knew it was coming. I was selfish. He knew, but he bravely took the risk and fought the best fight. He knew giving up would hurt me, so he tried. But I do thank god for giving me the courage to take care of him when he was sick. I was strong enough to face the worst and encourge him to see the best.

IMPORTANT: nothing beats the feeling of having a complete family.

I have a complete family. Though he may no longer be here physically, he will always live in our hearts.

"Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the days, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you"
 
in the loving memory of appa :)
 
09.11.1949-04.08.2010
 

why is it always hard to just be friends with a guy without complicating the situation? seriously? is there ever a time where a guy and a girl can just be friends forever? WITHOUT the feelings kicking in?

Exams Exams Exams...

Haiz...sometimes the thought of studying just sucks the life outta me. Sometimes i wonder, If only studying was as easy as eating. but then again..nothing is easy! Even eating takes a toll on me sometimes. so yeah.. hahaahahaha..Valentine's day is coming soon. How exciting..........NOT! (",)

So yeah, i have started studying. I know i have it all undercontrol (i hope!)...Only 3 major papers. So yeah, how hard is it gonna be to ACE it?

life in a nutshell:)

dear God,

well, things are much better now. And yes, Ragu apologised for what happened. I'm talking to him now. So yea..but you know what, things are definitely not the same as before. I kinda learnt to move on during his absence and I'm really happy as it is. I have found a awesome friend in Dasa. Someone appreciative and loving by nature-what more can I ask?

Honey is doing great too. Her relationship is blooming with so much of love daily. I'm sincerely happy for her. She's gonna be happy forever.. :)

people i love are happy, i'm not gonna base my happiness on others but i'm sincerely happy. i'm living life as it is daily :)

i'm happy.

After a series of misfortunate events, I'm finally happy and contented. I'm really glad Dasa is in my life. He has brought a whole new dimension to the word friendship and i'm so glad that we met. Seriously, I can't ask for more in a friend. Someone so appreciative after a short, taxing, and unappreciative friendship! I am so happy now that everything else seems so distant. I don't have a word of regret. And I am happy with every new change in my life. Everything happens for a reason. I'm just gonna go with the flow and be happy. The word "positive" and "happy" has never been so over rated until i met Dasa. hahahahaha. crazy boy! Every single day we can sit somewhere for hours and laugh so much yet do our homework! I feel very motivated to do my best. The best is yet to come...must always be positive :) nights yall.

Happy-Leona Lewis

someone once told me


that you have to choose

what you win or lose

you cant have everything

dont you take chances

you might feel the pain

dont you love in vain

cause love wont set you free

i could stand by the side

and watch this life pass me by

so unhappy but safe as could be



CHORUS

so what if it hurts me

so what if i break down

so what if this world just throws me off the edge

my feet run out of ground

i gotta find my place

i wanna hear my sound

dont care about other pain infront of me

cause im just tryna be happy, yea

just wanna be happy, yea



holding on tightly

just cant let it go

just tryna play my roll

slowly diasappear, oooh

well all these tears

they feel like they re the same

just different faces, different names

get me outta here

well i can stand by the side

and watch this life pass me by

pass me by



CHORUS

so what if it hurts me

so what if i break down

so what if this world just throws me off the edge

my feet run out of ground

i gotta find my place

i wanna hear my sound

dont care about other pain infront of me

cause im just tryna be happy

just wanna be happy

oooh



so any turns that i cant see

ill count a stranger on this road

but don’t say victim

dont say anythng



CHORUS

so what if it hurts me

so what if i break down

so what if this world just throws me off the edge

my feet run out of ground

i gotta find my place

i wanna hear my sound

dont care about all the pain infront of me

cause im just tryna be happy

just wanna be happy

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

oru devathai..so beautiful.

oru thevathai paarkum neramithu
miga aruginil irunthum thuuramithu
ithayamey oh.ivalidam.
uruguthey..oh..
intha kathal ninaivugal thangathey
athu thungum pothilum thunggathey
paarkathey ohendralumoh
ketkathey..oh

ennai enna seiythai penney

neram kaalam marantheney
kaalgal irandum tharaiyil irunthum
vaanil parakiren
enna aagiren engu pogiren
vazhigal therinthum tholaithu pogiren
kathal endral oh..pollathathu
purigindrathu.oh

kangal irukkum karanam enna
ennai naaney ketteney
unathu azhagai kanathaney
kangal vazhuthey
marana nerathil un madiyil orathil
idamum kidaithal iranthum vazhuven
un pathathil mudigindrathey
en saalaigal oh
intha kathal ninaivugal thangathey
athu thungum pothilum thunggathey
oru thevathai paarkum neramithu
miga aruginil irunthum thuuramithu

so beautiful, one day we will all find the love of our lifes. and its gonna be so mind-blowing. :) he'll come..i know he will. whoever he is.

good and the bad.

I am really very very happy. My dearest honey has found her Mr right. Things cannot get any better. I'm seriously happy for my sweetheart. She has touched my life in so many ways that I cannot explain. And today when she says she's in love, NO ONE ELSE CAN BE IN LOVE AS SHE IS. Believe me! The feeling is beyond beautiful. Thank you god for answering our prayers. Thank you for always being there for us, even during our lowest peak of life. Through good and bad, till death do us part. Soon I will hear wedding bells and Honey saying her Vows. I'm blessed, sincerely to have met her. I must have done some good deeds in my last life to have met a remarkable person like her.

Dasa is back from his long India trip. Thank you god once again for his safe arrival back to Singapore. Though his trip was a little shakey, I know you have blessed him with the courage and strength to carry on, with your guidance. I have missed him oh-so-badly. And Yes, I'm very productively meeting him everyday. hahahahhaaha...how awesome is that? :) I cannot get enough of him. I enjoy our silly carefree friendship and I want it to remain like this till our time expires. Dasa has been really awesome. Meeting him randomly through Ragu has been the most craziest thing ever. "baby so ugly. bcos mummy thupid!" hahahaha. mad child. where can i ever find a cactus like him?

And yes, with all the goodness, comes the bad. Ok, maybe not that bad! Ragu. I dunno what's happening in between us. Conversations are getting smaller and the gap in between is getting bigger. I miss him ALOT. Somehow, I feel he's slipping away and I can't seem to hold on tight anymore. Maybe space is what we need? I dunno. I am confused but I know he's starting to be a lot more positive than he used to. Now that's a great thing and I cannot ask for anything more. God please give me the courage to let go of unwanted feelings. Because it's starting to hurt and ache inside. I don't need any of this right now. Why is it so hard for a girl and a boy to just be friends? Why? Some feelings can really break a beautiful friendship and I don't want this to happen to us. I may not understand clearly why we met but I know for a fact that he needs a friend now more than a partner. Love is something we cannot force upon anyone. It's something that happens, if it's meant to be. So yeah, Please give me the strength to let all this pass me by, I just want to be happy. I don't want to be a hinderance to someone else. I have so many goals to achieve and I wanna achieve them!

Only my goals for a better future will keep me happy. Not someone else. We can't base our happiness on anyone. I have learnt that everyone will fail us, but not our goals and dreams. I must stay focused. Seriously!!!!! I MUST STAY FOCUSED! Though the mind says one thing, the heart lingers elsewhere. Why la ma??

"Love is strong yet delicate.It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this.To be in love is to respect this."