i am me, and this is my story.

Where do i start? So many things have happened seen I last blogged. 2010 has taken away many things I have held so dear to my heart. One by one it took away people whom I have held so close, FRIENDS. "Friends" they call it. Who are these people? Why do they seem so important to us? Are they really an essential part of our lifes? "Friends" whom we think will last forever actually really don't even make pass an obstacle. Sadly. Yes, my 6 years of friendship came to an interesting fullstop when an unexpected twist occured. Its rather funny if you see the full picture. The society in general can say a million things but end of the day, its how you perceive it to be that really matters.

IMPORTANT: one thing is for sure, no matter how old you are, you are never too old to be childish! (if you know what i mean!)

So they were leaving, some of them. (note: "they" means the FRIENDS who left) They were busy packing their bags and finding a way out from this dungeon (my life). Their bags sure appeared heavy with all the love and trust I have instilled in them. Looks like they have benefitted with the time they have spent with me. They were definitely not leaving empty handed, they were taking away my positivity together with them. BRATS. They decided to take my box of happiness too. Sometimes being greedy doesn't help.

I found a bigger box full of happiness, FAMILY. :)

So with the sudden emptiness in my life came a gush of importance. My parents :) the past 2 months were really precious. I spent every little moment I had with my bestest friend in the whole world. The person who would give to world to know that I am happy. This special person has been the proudest of me ever since I was born. Unlike many who have left me for their own selfish reasons, this kind self-less soul has lived to watch me grow. But time has come for him to leave this nasty place called earth to be with god where his heart will beat so strong, his kidneys will work like machines and his legs will carry him effortlessly. This wonderful person is..my dad. The man who taught me that love is the most simplest form of happiness and its something thats worth sharing. (ps: even the slightest thought of him brings tears to my eyes) I miss him.

All he ever wanted was to live long enough to watch me graduate and become a staff nurse. I'm really disheartened. No words can express how much I have yearned for him to live. Every day since the 12th of June 2010 till the day he left us, was special. I never knew it was coming. I was selfish. He knew, but he bravely took the risk and fought the best fight. He knew giving up would hurt me, so he tried. But I do thank god for giving me the courage to take care of him when he was sick. I was strong enough to face the worst and encourge him to see the best.

IMPORTANT: nothing beats the feeling of having a complete family.

I have a complete family. Though he may no longer be here physically, he will always live in our hearts.

"Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinkin of the days, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I'll be missing you"
 
in the loving memory of appa :)
 
09.11.1949-04.08.2010